Kennedy’s Birth Story

Hey, Friends! I have been meaning to write this post for about a month now, but it always has seemed so daunting. How do you put into words the most incredible and wild experience of your life? We just passed the 6 week mark since Kennedy was born, and it feels like such a milestone. I figured now is as good a time as any to share Kennedy’s birth story.

Prior to becoming pregnant, JD and I conceived with the help of a fertility specialist. You can read more about that journey here. I don’t want to get into much detail about why we needed a specialist, for personal reasons, but one of the main things is that I have a progesterone hormone imbalance. This is something that I have known about since my mid-twenties. Since then, I have also struggled with blood pressure issues off and on. In my first trimester, my blood pressure was always high and my OB kept a close eye on this throughout my pregnancy by having me check it daily at home, and we did some additional testing to make sure Kennedy was developing appropriately. By the mid/late second trimester, my blood pressure actually dropped quite a bit to a normal level. This was great news and really relieved a lot of my anxiety. The reason I bring all this up is because in the first trimester it was decided that if Kennedy did not arrive on her own by 39 weeks and 6 days, we would plan for an induction in the hospital. Well, she did not want to come on her own and my blood pressure actually went back up the last week of pregnancy, so we scheduled induction on Monday March 1st.

My entire pregnancy, I had told JD that I didn’t want an induction and I really wanted to labor on my own. I allowed myself to grieve this for a couple of days, but ultimately, I knew it was the safe option given my high blood pressure. My last OB appointment was on a Friday, so JD and I spent the weekend before the induction getting everything ready for her arrival. We stocked up on household essentials, washed baby clothes, cleaned the whole house, and soaked up the last moments of just the two of us. It was so weird waking up Monday morning knowing that we were about to meet our baby girl. I was strangely calm, which is the opposite of what I expected, but I tried to just trust the process.

We got to the hospital around 6PM and met our OB to start the induction. She had explained everything in detail to me at our last appointment, which honestly made me feel more calm and prepared. When I got to the hospital I was 0cm dilated, so we were starting from the beginning! We started with a medication called Cytotec, which is a medication that is inserted vaginally to help soften the cervix and sometimes it will help start uterine contractions. You can do several ’rounds’ of Cytotec, every 4 hours, until your body takes over and goes into labor.

For the first 8 hours, I felt pretty much nothing. I had two rounds of Cytotec, and the doctor checked me twice and I was still at 0cm dilated. I was feeling so discouraged, and of course did not sleep for a minute (even though they tell you to get your rest before anything happens). Around 3-4AM we decided to do that 3rd dose of Cytotec and that is when the party started. I began to feel contractions almost immediately after that dose, and it really intensified from there. My plan was to hold off on pain medication until I could get an epidural, but unfortunately, my uterus began to over contract and I was having contractions every 40 seconds. It was insane, this was worse than pushing for me. I tried to be strong and hold off on pain medicine but my body started to shake uncontrollably and this put me in a state where I could not relax and labor wouldn’t progress. After all this, the doctor came in and said I was only 2cm dilated. I was in shock, I thought for sure I was going to be able to push her out soon. So, I took some pain medicine and tried to relax. Because of the intensity of my contractions, we decided to hold off on any further intervention and give my body a couple of hours to relax.

Around 7-8AM I was sitting up in bed trying to relax and I felt a gush of fluid, and my water broke. The pain medication was helping, but after this things picked back up again. I was still not dilating though, and I was feeling a lot better so we decided to start pitocin to help move things along. Meanwhile, everything with the baby was looking great. I was only on pitocin for about 30-40 minutes and my uterus started over contracting again. They turned it off, gave me a dose of pain medication, and checked my cervix. STILL, I was only 3cm dilated. This time, the pain medicine didn’t touch me, and I begged (cried) for an epidural. Since the baby’s heart rate still looked great, my OB agreed and the anesthesiologist started the epidural shortly after. While they were setting up, my body started shaking uncontrollably again and JD and our nurse held my shoulders while I hugged a pillow to try to relax. The whole time I kept asking the anesthesiologist in a delirious state how he was going to insert the needle while I was shaking and what would happen if I started shaking while the needle was in. I was so concerned that I was going to mess him up. He was SO NICE and kept telling me I was doing great and while I was babbling on I felt him attaching tape to my back and he said “All set”. I didn’t even feel it go in!

Once I got the epidural, I felt GREAT. I finally was able to relax and my nurse told me to rest and they would be back to check my cervix in 45-60 minutes. I laid down, and could no longer feel those intense contractions, but I could feel a pressure sensation when they were happening. After about 30-45 minutes I felt an INTENSE pressure. I can’t describe it, but it was different than what I was feeling before. A few minutes later, my nurse came in and calmly said she noticed on the monitor that baby’s heart rate was high and that we should try a new position to see if we can bring it down. She and JD helped me flip over to my hands and knees and I leaned my chest on the top of the bed. This is a common position that helps relive the pressure on the baby. While I was flipped over, about 3 more nurses came in asking if we needed help. As a nurse myself, I know what this means…they saw something concerning on the monitor outside the room and wanted to make sure everything was okay. The baby’s heart rate was not going down, so my nurse called my OB to see what would be the next step. In real time, this whole process probably lasted a few minutes, but it felt like a LIFETIME. I was so concerned and nervous. Our OB came in and checked my cervix and she said ‘OK time to push!’. Not only did we need to get her out because she was in distress, I was 10cm dilated. So, that means, in less than an hour I went from 3cm to 10cm. All I needed was the epidural to relax and help labor progress.

This part was a blur I feel like, I was ready to take a nap after my epidural and I remember being shocked that it was already time to push, and there were suddenly tons of people in my room and they were quickly converting my hospital bed to deliver and bringing in tons of equipment. I pushed for about 30 minutes. I don’t remember a lot from this part, but I remember I felt so strong. The whole morning I was thinking, how will I have the strength to do this with no sleep and minimal food intake? It’s true what they say, your body and instinct really does take over. We delivered at a teaching hospital, so we had residents, medical students, and nursing students in the room, who were all cheering me on and I felt so empowered. Everyone was fantastic and it really helped me get through the pushing process. Even with the epidural, I still could feel the ‘ring of fire’, which is when the baby is crowning. Once I felt that I knew she was going to be here soon, and I did one more push. Our nurse said ‘Kristen, look down!’ and there she was! I have no idea what words came out of my mouth at that point, but I know it was something along the lines of ‘What? This is our baby?’ and a lot of tears. She was perfect.

They put her on my chest for skin to skin, but the story did not stop there. She wasn’t crying. She was whimpering a little, but she didn’t let out those loud cries that you want to hear immediately after birth. Our nurse tried to stimulate her on my chest, but I could hear in her chest that she was full of fluid. They took her away and cleared her lungs out with a catheter, and after a few minutes of this I heard a small cry from the bassinet where they were working. I felt helpless on the hospital bed during this whole process!

They brought her back to me after she was stabilized. She still wasn’t crying much and had some fluid in her chest still, but she didn’t need NICU care. JD and I were so anxious about her being okay that we never took that traditional photo after birth with her on my chest. I am still grieving this to this day, but I am hoping this blog post will be something I can look back on to keep that memory. The fact that she was healthy meant more to me in the moment. I couldn’t, and still can’t, believe that she was finally here. Here was this little tiny person, a perfect combination of myself and my husband. Kennedy Elizabeth, our daughter, had arrived!

The whole time, JD was amazing. Our OB told him to hold my leg while pushing, and he quickly jumped in (even though his plan was to stay above the shoulders). He held my hand through all the contractions, and when I was over contracting pushed on my back for counter pressure. He cheered me on and encouraged me during the entire process, helped count while I was breathing through contractions. Once she was born, he cut the umbilical cord, and patiently waited next to the bassinet while they were suctioning her out to make sure she was okay. They say you fall in love with your husband all over again when you see them become a father, and I find that couldn’t be more accurate.

The past 6 weeks we have been thanking God daily that we get to be parents to our beautiful Kennedy. She is such a joy, and she has already changed so much! I feel so blessed that I get to be her mom.